Monday, August 31, 2009

Seeing Isn't Always Believing

Imagine you are at a party. You're on the tenth floor of a high-rise building. And you have to go to the bathroom.

You open the door...

Now, remember the floor is just a painted floor.

Kinda takes your breath away, doesn't it? Would this mess with your mind? Would you be able to use the facilities in this room?

Now let's take you to your place of business. Rather than make those who smoke go outside in the heat/rain/cold to smoke, your business offers them a smoker's lounge.

Kinda gets the point across, don't you think?

(Thank you, Theresa!)

Sunday, August 30, 2009

The 1909 FORD Model R


THE YEAR is 1909 - one hundred years ago. What a difference a century makes!

Here are some statistics for the Year 1909 :

The average life expectancy was 47 years.

Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles Of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower.

The average wage in 1909 was 22 cents per hour.

The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year.

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME.

Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION. Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard. '

Sugar cost four cents a pound. Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen. Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.

Five leading causes of death were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.

The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30.

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea hadn't been invented yet.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write. Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter atthe local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health."

Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic help.

There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A.

(Thank you, Anne Marie!)

Saturday, August 29, 2009

UPS Airlines













Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a gripe sheet, which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
(P: = Pilot Complaints)
(S: = Maintenance Solutions)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That ' s what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you ' re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighen up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last-
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

(Thank you, Anne.)

Friday, August 28, 2009

Thursday, August 27, 2009

From My Kindergarten Dictionary

School has started, and already my new class is giving me a reason to believe it's going to be a great year!





jumpoline

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

What Does One TRILLION Dollars Look Like?

All this talk about "stimulus packages" and "bailouts".. .
A billion dollars...
A hundred billion dollars... Eight hundred billion dollars...
One TRILLION dollars...
What does that look like?

We'll start with a $100 dollar bill. Currently the largest U.S. denomination in general circulation. Most everyone has seen them, slighty fewer have owned them. Guaranteed to make friends wherever they go.


A packet of one hundred $100 bills is less than 1/2" thick and contains $10,000. Fits in your pocket easily and is more than enough for week or two of shamefully decadent fun.

Believe it or not, this next little pile is $1 million dollars (100 packets of $10,000). You could stuff that into a grocery bag and walk around with it.


While a measly $1 million looked a little unimpressive, $100 million is a little more respectable. It fits neatly on a standard pallet.


And $1 BILLION dollars... now we're really getting somewhere...


Next we'll look at ONE TRILLION dollars. This is that number we've been hearing so much about. What is a trillion dollars? Well, it's a million million. It's a thousand billion. It's a one followed by 12 zeros.
You ready for this?
It's pretty surprising.
Go ahead...
Scroll down...
Ladies and gentlemen... I give you $1 trillion dollars...



(And notice those pallets are double stacked.)
See the little man on the bottom left-hand corner where he feels lost and powerless?
So the next time you hear someone toss around the phrase "trillion dollars"... that's what they're talking about.

**Thank you, Mark and Alan!**

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Coming in September - Interviews With My Heroes and Heroines!

Just wanted y'all to be aware that my September theme for my blog will be interviews with all my major characters from all my books. So if you're not following my blog yet, try to make it a point to check over here daily to see what kinds of Q&As come about!

In the meantime, Anyone want to nominate who'd they'd like to hear from first? Got a question you want to ask them?

Speak up now!

Friday, August 21, 2009

I Was Interviewed Over at Blazing Trailers!







Kim McDougall interviewed me over at Blazing Trailers. You can connect with their blog HERE.

If you're not familiar with this site, and you have trailers of your books, check them out! They are a terrific marketing tool!

http://www.blazingtrailers.com/

(Adult site) http://adult.blazingtrailers.com/

Thursday, August 20, 2009

WANTED: AN AGENT for my Dark Urban Fantasy Romance that's not "the usual".

For the past few months I've been reading blogs and emails from people who are tired of urban fantasies that call themselves romances, when they're not romances.

Mine is definitely a romance. Yes, it's erotic.

These readers are saying they're tired of the same old werewolves and vampires.

Not a vamp or werewolf/wolf shifter in mine.

Readers are saying they want a strong heroine, not a whiney one. A girl who can kick butt. And they want the hero to accept her as his equal.

My heroine tracks and kills infected serial killers. The hero is a cop who was tracking her.

Readers say they like series.

Cut Glass is a planned 4-book series. The hero and heroine are prominent in all of them. Book 1, Diamond, is 79K words. Book 2, Ruby, is outlined, as is also Book 3, Emerald, and Book 4, Opal.

So, what's the problem? I don't know. I get several people who ask to see the whole manuscript, but after a while I get the rejection "It's not what we're looking for."

Which leaves me scratching my head. Glass is not the usual urban fantasy, which is what I understand readers want - ie. something new, something different. Are publishers still wanting the "same old same old"?

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Future Fiction vs the Present Reality


Star Trek communicator

Cellular flip phone

Did Roddenberry's vision of the first lead to the second?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The Romance Studio Loves LORD OF THUNDER


Annie had thought leaving her family in Ohio, getting married, and moving to Montana was the best thing that could happen to her. But instead, she found herself alone and struggling for survival. With her husband missing for the past three years, Annie had to learn to cope with loneliness and boredom from living in the middle of nowhere with no one to talk to for days on end. Then one day after a severe thunderstorm, Annie found an angel injured and buried in the woods. She did what any normal person would do and took him home. And here began Annie's adventure, one that will fill her life with both excitement and happiness.

Author Linda Mooney gives us a story set in the frontier times when America was still young and people were trying to make it rich in the gold mines of Montana. When Annie had gotten married, she had so many ideas of what her life would be like after growing up on a family farm and having to do the same chores day after day. Unfortunately, her life didn't get any better. Instead she was left alone by a husband who I consider to be selfish and cold hearted. But you have to admire Annie's strength at how she endured life alone in the wilds of Montana for three years all alone. The day her life changed was when she met Rion. A man like no other, his compassion and determined spirit will make you love him. For he will make Annie's happiness and welfare his number one priority and endure pain to see her safe. A beautiful and heartfelt story which will surprise you in many ways.

Overall rating: Sensuality rating: Very sensual
Reviewer: Margo Arthur

Monday, August 17, 2009

One Public Toilet

This is a picture of a public toilet in Houston.

Now that you've seen the outside view, take a look at the inside view.


It's made entirely of one-way glass! No one can see you from the outside, but when you are inside, it's like sitting in a clear glass box! Now would you? COULD YOU?

(Thank you, Theresa Klacman.)

Saturday, August 15, 2009

40 Things You Would Like To Say At Work But Can’t.
















1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.

10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.

(Thank you, Mary Casey.)

Friday, August 14, 2009

Yes, I Write - Wrote - Fanfiction

Yes, I wrote fanfiction. I haven't done any in a long while, but if you're curious, I wrote for the following:

Beauty and the Beast (CBS)

The Ghost and Mrs. Muir

Zorro (Family Channel)

Quantum Leap

Lois and Clark (Superman)

Phantom of the Opera

Buffy, the Vampire Slayer

Ladyhawke

X-Files

Although I have a lot of stories (nearly 300) published, my own company is called MacWombat Press. You can scope out the website here.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

A New Review for EENIE MEENIE

My little horror story got kudos!

http://blog.lyndacoker.net/2009/08/10/wrdf-review-of-eenie-meenie-by-gail-smith.aspx?results=1

A tantalizing short story, Eenie Meenie wastes no time racing out of the starting gate to seize the reader’s attention. Gail Smith immediately sets her tone, reaching out to her audience through the eyes of Jack, a sinister vagrant whose ruthlessness knows no bounds. However, just when the reader thinks he has the story figured, Smith unleashes a surprise of her own, keeping the reader thrilled from start to finish.

Character description good, dialogue spot-on accurate, my only reservation was the trace of passive language used, barely noticeable amidst the well-paced developed plot. Eenie Meenie earns its black ribbon.

Reviewed By Evie Alexis
WRDF Review

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Monday, August 10, 2009

Things I Learned From Being Raised in Texas

Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in Texas.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a couple noone's seen before.

If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

'Twiced' is a word.

People actually grow and eat okra.

We put the 'country' in country music.

'Fixinto' is one word.

There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then supper.

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!

'Backwards and forwards' means I know everything about you!

Djeet is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't ma tter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.

You measure distance in hours. Like its 6 hours from Houston to Dallas.

You'll probably have to switch from 'heat' to A/C in the same day.

'Fix' is a verb. Example: 'I'm fixing to go to the store.'

You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both unlocked.

Yes, Friday night high school football games is serious football!

You carry jumper cables in your car for your OWN car.

There are only four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco, and ketchup.

The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.

100 degrees Fahrenheit is 'a little warm.'

We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer, and Christmas.

Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as 'goin' to Wally-World.'

A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good pinto-bean weather.

A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop. It's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: 'What kind a coke you want?'

Fried catfish is the other white meat.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

It's All There In Black and White

Once again I'm hearing from people who say they won't read a blog or website if it's white text on a black background.

I'm guilty of both - I have it on my website and my blog. Does this mean I'm losing readers or potential readers?

I've tried putting an off-white background to my site, but my header is black/dark, and the results simply don't look good together.

I'm in a pickle. Any suggestions? Comments?

Saturday, August 8, 2009

What Is In My To-Be-Read Pile?

Absolutely nada.

Zip.

Zilch.

Nuttin'.

Slowly but surely I have plowed my way through a Lora Leigh and a Stephen King that had been sitting on my iPhone. Now I'm sitting with nothing to read.

Bereft? Not really. I buy a lot of horror magazines (Rue Morgue, Fangoria, Gorezone, etc.) and read them while I soak in my new soaker tub. (Note: I sell these 'zines very cheaply when I'm done. Just check my horror blog http://gailsgorydetails.blogspot.com/)

But now I'm in the mood for something in the romance genre. Suggestions anyone? I'm especially interested in something from e-pubs.

Friday, August 7, 2009

RIP John Hughes

This was tweeted over on Twitter.

I read the blog post, and now I'm in tears.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

http://wellknowwhenwegetthere.blogspot.com/2009/08/sincerely-john-hughes.html

(Thank you, Colleen.)

This Is Cute

(Thank you, Jane, for bringing it to my attention.)

Thursday, August 6, 2009

I'm Chatting and Giving Away a Book or Two! Come By!


August 6, 2009
Author ChatCoffee Time Romance Erotic e-Loop
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/karendevinkaren/
7 - 10 pm EST

Come by! I'm giving away a book or two!

I Blogged Today Over at Fang-Tastic Books!

I'm the guest blogger today over at Fang-Tastic Books! And I'm giving away a copy of LORD OF THUNDER to one of my commenters.

Show your support! Come by and say "Hi!"

www.fang-tasticbooks.blogspot.com

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I'm Watching SHARK WEEK on the Discovery Channel This Week.

Just what I need before going to bed. Visions of a behemoth shark rising from the black depths of the ocean, jaws wide and waiting to grab its unsuspecting victim...

NOT!