Monday, November 30, 2020

Things Your Mother Should Have Told You

1. Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

2. Use a meat baster to “squeeze” your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you’ll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time....

3. To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

4. To prevent eggshells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard-boiling.

5. Run your hands under cold water before pressing Rice Krispies treats in the pan and the marshmallow won’t stick to your fingers.

6. To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing.

7. To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on the stovetop.

8. Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato-based sauces and there won’t be any stains.

9. When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won’t be any white mess on outside of the cake.

10. If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant “fix me up.”

11. Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

13. Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften it.

14. When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corn’s natural sweetness.

15. To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cool, salted water. If it sinks, it is fresh, but if it rises to the surface, throw it away.

16. Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

17. Don’t throw out all that leftover wine: Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

18. If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

19. Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water.

20. To get rid of itch from mosquito bites, try applying soap on the area and you will experience instant relief.

21. Ants, ants, ants everywhere … Well, they are said to never cross a chalk line. So get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever ants tend to march. See for yourself.

22. Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer. Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous china. Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets. Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes. Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka-Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary). Unclog a drain. Clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka-Seltzer tablets down the drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar. Wait a few minutes, then run the hot water.

Sunday, November 29, 2020

Six on Sunday - VEILS, Book 3, the Conclusion to the VEILS Trilogy, a Sci-Fi /Time Travel Romance

Six paragraphs from VEILS, Book 3, the Conclusion to the VEILS Trilogy, a Sci-Fi /Time Travel Romance

1. “Well, until these veils stop coming, I’m not letting you out of reach. I can’t risk having you taken away from me again.” His voice hitched at the confession, damn him, but he couldn’t help it. He hated showing any emotion that might make him appear weak, but this woman had that effect on him. He’d never believed he could love someone as desperately as he loved her.

2. Lifting the broom, he rammed the blunt end of the handle as hard as he could at the small window next to the knob. The glass shattered upon impact. Twice more he shoved the handle into the broken pieces to widen the hole. Reaching inside, he managed to unlock the one door as small droplets of acid rain began to sprinkle over them. He shoved her ahead of him seconds before it started to deluge the place.

3. He kept his arms out in front of him to keep himself from plowing face-first into whoever had the girl in his grasp. He made it as far as a dozen steps when something slammed into him from the side. The impact knocked him off his feet, and he went flying across the room before hitting the ground on his bad side and sliding another couple of yards along the slick metal floor. Numb with pain, Griff let out a groan. He couldn’t move, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything but try and breathe through the agony lancing through his body. Dimly, he was aware of Nat screaming his name, but she sounded more distant than she had earlier. He attempted to answer her, but it was as if he was paralyzed, unable to respond, much less roll onto his back or stomach to take the weight off of his injury.

4.  Griff was faintly aware of the passing night. Some part of him remained awake and vigilant to any strange or unusual sounds that might prove dangerous. It was a part of his past, part of his conditioning from being deployed on the front lines that he thought he’d lost. Thankfully, he hadn’t. In addition, he was aided in the fact that the cold weather made any sort of deep sleep impossible. He gave credit for that to his innate fear of freezing to death. If it weren’t for Nat’s warmth, he knew he wouldn’t have been able to make it through the night.

5. “It’s not shit,” a voice across the room snapped. Amos Daddow strode over to confront their hosts. “I felt the same way when I first heard Griff’s story, until I lived through it. If it wasn’t for his warnings, my wife and I would be dead by now. I swear by it!” He stabbed the air with a thick finger as he pointed toward the ceiling. “You got a metal roof over your heads. That’s as good a protection as you’re gonna get until that acid rain hits. But it won’t protect you forever. Listen to this man. He’s lived through more than most of us. He know what he’s talking about, and every word’s the truth.”

6. Griff nodded. “We’ve been transported across the US. Hey! You! Dickhead!” A plan had formed in his mind. It was dangerous, and more than one person could lose their life, but he felt they had no other choice. It was becoming uncomfortably clear that these men weren’t aware of their current circumstances, but once they understood, they might take out their fears and worries on the rest of the people. It could result in mass slaughter.

Wednesday, November 25, 2020

For All the Writers Out There

 

- An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.
• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
• A question mark walks into a bar?
• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."
• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
• A synonym strolls into a tavern.
• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
• A dyslexic walks into a bra.
• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

Monday, November 23, 2020

Now Available as an Audiobook! BREACHERS: Holt & McKenna, Bk. 1

 
Now Available as an Audiobook! 

BREACHERS: Holt and McKenna
Book 1
Contemporary Fantasy/ Paranormal Romance
Word Count: 28.1K
$2.99
e / $9.99 p / $6.95 a

Narrated by Jim Catapano
Length: 2 hrs, 50 min
Hear a Sample

They are the cause of many legends, myths, and fairy tales. And they still live among us.

There are creatures from a parallel world called Breachers who, for hundreds of years, have been inadvertently pulled into our world. They are the truth behind the creatures normally considered to be mythic. Once on Earth, they cannot go back, and those who cannot cope become rabid. Murderers. And when they go berserk, they must be put down.

Jerrod Holt always wondered why he was selected to be part of the secret governmental organization. More perplexing is why his skills as a professional bodyguard are needed. 

He discovers his partner assigned to help him bring down a Breacher is the one woman who had caught his eye the moment he saw her at their initial group meeting. Together, he and McKenna travel to Utah to confront a killer beast, not knowing that the terror will be all too real, and too damn close to home.

Warning: Contains smart ass remarks, unbearable cold, a nightmare come to life, toe loss, rabbit farming, a search for the truth, and an unconditional love that defies all boundaries.

Excerpt and Buy Links

Saturday, November 21, 2020

Now Available as an Audiobook! THE GOLDEN HEIST, Noir Fairy Tales, Book 3

 
Now Available as an Audiobook!

THE GOLDEN HEIST
Noir Fairy Tales, Book 3
(Based on "Goldilocks and the 3 Bears")

Paranormal, Fantasy Romance
Word Count:
36.4K
$2.99 e / $9.99 p / $14.95 a

Narrated by LC Kane
Length: 3 hrs, 53 min

Hear a Sample

Looking for a quick buck to help feed her addiction, Cressa “Goldie” Locke helps herself to a nice looking house, hoping to score some jewelry to pawn. She’s perfected the art of small-time crime to keep from getting busted, but this time she may have gotten a little more than she bargained for. She picked the wrong house...or maybe it was just right.

When she wakes up in a hospital bed, Cressa knows she’s been caught red-handed and there’s no getting out of it, so she has no other choice than to come clean. She wasn’t expecting the owner of the house to also be a doctor, or for him to actually care for her. Why would he, when no one else ever had?

Dr. Myles Ursa has a soft spot for taking care of those in need. After all, he took an oath when he became a physician. So when he realizes the thief he found in his house is more than just a common criminal, but someone needing help, instead of pressing charges, he vows to save her, against Detective Horner’s advice. But she could also be the golden opportunity the police need to bust the drug dealers for good.

Unfortunately, word on the street is Cressa’s a snitch, and she’s got some big baddies looking for her. Enemies come in all forms, and Myles may have bitten off more than he can chew. But he’s determined to help Cressa turn her life around and clear her name, no matter how dangerous things could get.

Warning! Contains fake costume jewelry, sesame, illegal nudity, a flophouse, a cold breakfast, radios without mics, subterfuge, a sigil of safety, and a misunderstanding that, when cleared, enables a heart to accept the love of another.

Excerpt and Buy Links

Friday, November 20, 2020

New! VEILS, Book 3, the Conclusion to the VEILS Trilogy, a Sci-Fi /Time Travel Romance

 


VEILS
Book 3
Sci-Fi /Time Travel Romance
Word Count: 38.2K
$2.99 e

Now married, Griff and Nat couldn’t be happier to have shared the moment with their friends, but the honeymoon period won’t last long. Still plagued with the veils and acid rains, they’re just trying to do what they do best—survive.  

However, things seem to be changing, improving. Cars are working again, guns are firing, there’s even electricity, but still they find themselves traveling through time. With each event, it seems they're getting closer to their original eras.  

The world looks to be healing itself, and as long as they stick together, they believe they’ll make it through. The only problem is, if their theories are correct, at some point they will have to let each other go to return to their own year where it all began. 

Hope prevails, but uncertainty continues to rear its ugly head. Will it ever be over? And if it does end, will they be able to reunite with their future selves? 

Warning! Contains a broom, a length of twine, scientific impossibilities, a fireworks grand finale, a train, and a reason to believe the madness will soon come to an end, which gives them hope for a life together.

Excerpt and Buy Links

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

Now Available as an Audiobook! LIONMEADE, a Paranormal Fantasy Romance

 
Now Available as an Audiobook!

LIONMEADE
Paranormal Fantasy Romance
Word Count: 43.6K

$0.99 e/ $9.99 p / $14.95 a

Narrated by Lexi Evans
Length: 4 hrs, 38 min
Hear a Sample

A kingdom is rife with rumors of the evil that lays in wait on the fringes of the woods. Fairy tales of curses, animalistic beasts, and an inhuman princeLady Bethel has heard the stories all her life, but what she once thought were just stories told to keep a child in line could prove to be so much more.

The daughter of Lord Voril of Banderling, Lady Bethel spends her time following in her late mother’s footsteps, caring for the sick in the villages surrounding Banderling Mayne. While traveling home after dark, against her father’s warnings, Bethel and her guards are attacked by what she thought were wild animals, but she couldn’t be more wrong. When she awakens, she can’t remember much, but she remembers voices. Particularly one—her savior.

Adain has taken it upon himself to hunt down the beasts that threaten the kingdom. The number of attacks grows, but he will stop at nothing to end the monsters he knows all too well. Having been in exile all his life, he must remain the faceless benefactor to Lady Bethel, despite his growing feelings, for she can never know the reality of his world.

Tales will be told, truths will come to light, but above all, love will reign.

Warning! Contains a deep forest retreat, death, blueberries, possible solutions, attempted kidnapping, and a birth defect with unimaginable consequences.

Excerpt and Buy Links

Tuesday, November 17, 2020

Now Available in Print! THANKSGIFTINGS, Six Short Stories Celebrating the Season


THANKSGIFTINGS
Six Short Stories Celebrating the Season
Fantasy/Contemporary/SciFi
Word Count: 
11.9K
$0.99 e / $6.99 p


 Stories Included are:

BARNEY -
She looked forward everyday for him to come by. Then came the one day when he didn't.

GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE -
All it took was one missing ingredient to melt the heart of a lonely old man.

AN EXPLOSIVE COMBINATION -
In a post-apocalyptic future, a group of survivors reminisce about their first Thanksgiving after that climactic event.

THE LEG -
Doug was determined to have turkey legs for his Thanksgiving dinner. He never planned on getting so much more.

THE WISHBONE -
A grandfather finds out which end of the wishbone is the lucky part.

DAY 280,662 - When the last survivors of a doomed Earth reach their new planetary home, they discover the date of their first landing has special significance.