Thursday, December 31, 2009

New! 36 EXPOSURES, an Erotic Urban Fantasy Romance



New!

36 Exposures
An erotic urban fantasy romance
by Linda Mooney
From Red Rose Publishing
(ebook) ISBN# 978-1-60435-491-1

Word Count: 10K
Price:  $1.99

What if you could take a picture of your true soulmate before you ever met her?

It was an innocent roll of film she found on the street. But when Jolee Wiley had it developed, hoping she might be able to find its owner from the pictures on it, she came face-to-face with a shocking impossibility.

Mike Owensby was an Archivist. A Dreams Keeper. The roll of film belonged to him. And the woman who found it may be the lover he had been seeking all his life.


Happy New Year!


HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

School Answering Machine



This has been around before but still worth a chuckle.

This is the message that the Maroochydore High School in Queensland staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine. This is the actual answering machine message for the school. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes.

The outgoing message:

Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his work - Press 2

To complain about what we do - Press 3

To swear at staff members - Press 4

To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5

If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

To request another teacher for the third time this year - Press 8

To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

To complain about school lunches - Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behaviour, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Brilliant New Speed Limit Device

This is an actual speed control device used over in the UK. 
(Thank you, Izzy!)






Monday, December 28, 2009

Let's End the Year With a Few Chuckles


How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way.

How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psychopath.

What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
Dam!

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

22 You-Won’t-Believe-It Uses for Your Dishwasher (Including Cooking!)


Got this from REAL SIMPLE Weekly tips.

22 You-Won’t-Believe-It Uses for Your Dishwasher (Including Cooking!)

Click here for the whole shebang.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Your Age By Chocolate Math



Don't tell me your age; you'd probably lie anyway, but the Hershey Man will know!






Don't cheat by scrolling down first.


It takes less than a minute.

Work this out as you read.

Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
 
 

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate. (At least once but less than 10.)

 
 
 
 
 

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold).


 
 
 
 
 
 

3. Add 5


 
 
 
  
 
 
 

4. Multiply it by 50 –


I'll wait while you get the calculator

 
 
 
 
 
 

5. If you have already had your birthday this year, add 1759. If you haven't, add 1758.
 
 
 
 
   
 
 
 

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born. You should end up with a three digit number.
 
 
  
 
 

The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).

 
  
 

The next two numbers are YOUR AGE!


(Oh YES, it is!)
 
 
 
 
  
 

This is the ONLY year (2009) it will ever work, so spread it around while it's still 2009!

Friday, December 25, 2009

MERRY CHRISTMAS!


My Wish for You in 2010

May peace break into your home, and may thieves come to steal your debts.

May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $50 bills.

May love stick to your face like Vaseline, and may laughter assault your lips!

May happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy.

May the problems you had forget your home address!
 
MERRY CHRISTMAS, AND HAPPY 2010!
 
 
(Thank you, Candace.)

Saturday, December 19, 2009

For All You Teachers Out There


Workin' in an Elementary School
(Sung to the tune "Walking in a Winter Wonderland")

Children scream, they're not listenin'
When they go, we'll not miss 'em (Of course, we KNOW that's not COMPLETELY true, but it goes w/ the beat!)
In all of this pain, we try to stay sane,
Workin' in an elementary school. (Behavior doesn't change much for older students, either!!)

Christmas comes, they're excited,
Though our nerves they've ignited,
They're off of the wall, they run in the hall,
Workin' in an elementary school.

In the lunchroom we can hear them yellin'
And we know that they are really "wound"
Someone hits, the other says, "I'm telling",
And that is when our heads begin to pound!

Pretty soon, we'll be restin',
'Cause our nerves, they've been testin',
We're happy, it's clear, it comes once a year,
Christmas in an elementary school.

On the Seventh Day of Christmas...


Thursday, December 17, 2009

RENÉE’S 2009 TOP TEN LIST PLUS 1!



RENÉE’S 2009 TOP TEN LIST PLUS 1!


THURSDAY, DECEMBER 17, 2009 @ 9:00 PM EST

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/yolandarenee

Call in @ (347) 215-9536

THE SHATTERED SILENCE – Matt Arnold – Literary Fiction

FORBIDDEN LOVE – S. E. Cox – Fantasy/Horror

RUN AT DESTRUCTION – A True Fatal Love Triangle -- Lynda Drews – True Crime

THE DEATH CONTINGENCY & BACKYARD BONES – Nancy Lynn Jarvis – Mystery

THE TALES OF TANGLEWOOD – Scott Kessman – Young Adult / Fantasy

MEXICAN BOWL FISHING – William Douglas Little – Humor

FROZEN TEARS – Mary Ann MacAfee – Literary Fiction

MY STRENGTH, MY POWER, MY LOVE & LORD OF THUNDER – Linda Mooney – Romance

SPECTRUM & ORIGINS – Cindy Parker -- Poetry

GUARDIAN OF THE GATE – Darren Poole – Urban Fantasy

BEGONIA BROWN – A PHILADELPHIA STORY – Julia Press Simmons – Urban Fiction
Join me Thursday, December 17, 2009 to discuss these great books! http://www.blogtalkradio.com/yolandarenee/2009/12/18/renees-2009-top-ten-list-plus-1-1

On the Fifth Day of Christmas...


Tuesday, December 15, 2009

New! WINGS OF THUNDER (Book 3 of the "Thunder" Trilogy) by Linda Mooney


WINGS OF THUNDER
(Book 3 of the Thunder Trilogy)
Erotic Fantasy Romance
Whiskey Creek Press Torrid
(ebook) ISBN# 978-1-60313-661-7
(print) ISBN# 978-1-60313-643-3
Word Count: 74.8K
http://www.whiskeycreekpress.com/torrid/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=475

As the days flow into weeks, and weeks become months, Rion finds Annie slowly becoming more and more despondent with homesickness, melancholy, and the growing need to see her home world again. His own fears escalate, knowing that if she returns, he will never be able to follow her. If she is taken back, he will never see her again. But she is an "otherworlder", and their laws dictate she cannot be forced to remain. If her wish is to go back to Earth, he has no choice but to let her.

But when fate sends a messenger through the gap during a massive, destructive storm, Rion is forced to fight to keep what he cannot live without. Now it's a battle between saving their love and their marriage, or giving her up and relinquishing her to the arms of another man.

A man from Earth.

Warning! Contains a duel to the death, an itchy redness, suspected infidelity, massive storm destruction, artwork, unconventional use of an emergency flare gun, and a whole new interpretation to the term "bloody good show!".

On the Third Day of Christmas...


Sunday, December 13, 2009

On the First Day of Christmas...



Want to get in on the contest?  It's not too late!
Go to my website to find out how!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Letting My Geekiness Show

I remember getting the Christmas in the Stars album as a gift one year, maaany moons ago. Of all the songs on the album (y'all remember vinyl, now, don'cha?) the one ditty that has stuck with me these many years is the tune "What Can You Get a Wookiee for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb?)"

For those of you who've never heard it, and for those of you who vaguely remember it, here's the YouTube link. Now you can bask in all its geeky goodness!

Enjoy!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

All Time Favorite Christmas Movie?


The Muppet Christmas Carol, starring Michael Caine as Scrooge.

Note: This was the first Muppet movie made after creator Jim Henson's death.

I'm linking here to my most favorite song, "Here Comes Mr. Scrooge". Don't you agree it sets the tone for the whole movie?

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The Christmas Gullibility Test

Go to this link to take the Christmas Gullibility Test. You might THINK you know the truths about certain "facts" vs myths regarding the Christmas season. See how well you rate.


(I only got 5 out of 12 right - yikes!)

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The Perfect Christmas Gift - a 2 GB USB Flash Drive

There's not a computer person around who wouldn't love a flash drive in their Christmas stocking. While I was hunting the internet for examples, I came across so many strange and unusual kinds, I wanted to share.



We'll begin with Legos.







And zoom over to the rubber chicken.






For the serial killer in the family, or the horror fanatic






The car lover







If they like transformers











Or Star Trek











These fascinated me










And these were TOO weird not to include








The food ones looked delicious











Imagine how TINY these are!












A CSI flash drive







For those who go for big bling









More yummies. Or for Homer Simpson










Dominoes!











Umm... yeah.









More yummies



And finally, for you Twi-hards



MERRY CHRISTMAS!