Autocorrect Thanksgiving by Mark Parisi

 

Thanksgiving Verses

 

That Turkey Dinner

Thanksgiving Dogs

 

Gobble, Gobble, Gobble! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

 

Giving Thanks - For Being Able to Write

Erma Bombeck said it best.
The ability I have to write is God given.

My imagine is only because of His will.

Thank you, Lord, for that talent.

Giving Thanks - For a Messy Home

My house is a mess. The carpets needs shampooing (why don't menfolk wipe up what they spill?), and the dust on the furniture and window sills is thick enough to weave into a blanket. But I've managed to keep the hygienic stuff clean, like the kitchen sink and the bathrooms.

Then I go to school and learn of children sleeping in their cars because they have no home. Or children sleeping on the floor because there are so many people living in that one bedroom apartment.

That's when I stop and realize I HAVE a home. With my own bed. With food in the pantry and refrigerator. With central heat and air. With so many clothes, I actually have to PICK something out to wear, rather than being made to wear the same two outfits over and over like some of my students do (wear one while the other gets washed).

You don't know how blessed you are until you see what others are made to endure.

Thank you, Oh Lord, for the bounty I am allowed to possess.

Giving Thanks - and Being Grateful

Stop.

Take a deep breath.

Look around you.

Now...find ONE THING you are grateful for. Just one. And don't think about it. What's the first thing that comes to mind?

Your health? If it's bad, then go outside and look at the beauty of the world. Or check out a webcam while you're here on the internet. You may be down with bad health, but it doesn't stop you from appreciating the incredible wonder of what's around us.

Your family situation? You can fix that, you know. Or, if you can't, you have the ability to work around it.

Your financial problems?

Your job?

Your friend(s)?

When was the last time you prayed? And when you do, don't forget to throw in a gratitude prayer. The Lord will help with you with your problems, but every now and then He likes a "hey, You did a good job!" pat on the back just like the rest of us do!

Thank you, O blessed Lord, for allowing me to have the chance to observe and appreciate Your wonders and blessings.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Giving Thanks - For Hugs

Giving Thanks - For Friends

If you are my friend, I bless you.

If you listen to my problems and not condemn me, I bless you.

If you allow me to be truthful, and not have to watch what I say, I bless you.

If you offer sincere suggestions, I bless you.

If you join me in my pity party, because all of us must have them for mental health reasons, I bless you.

If you make me laugh when I most need it, I bless you.

Giving Thanks - For Laughter

Can you imagine how sad the world would be without laughter? Everyone should have a good laugh every day.

When was the last time you told someone a joke?

Probably the Most Famous Representation of Thanksgiving Ever Created

by Norman Rockwell
If you doubt this is probably the most famous representation of Thanksgiving ever created, ask yourself why not?
Look at all it brings to mind: family, food, laughter, grandparents, nostalgia, togetherness, cleanliness, old-fashioned values, the "good old days", home, and Uncle Wally down in the bottom corner taking a gander at the photographer. (Doesn't every family have an Uncle Wally?) :)

Giving Thanks - For Sons

As of this writing, my sons are 24 and 21. TJ is 6 ft. 3, and Ben is 7 ft. 2. (Yes, that's right. 7 ft. 2 - he has to bend over to enter buildings, but he can also hang things from the ceiling without using a ladder.)

TJ was an easy birth, even though he was 4 weeks premature (and weighed in at 8 lbs. 6 oz.) Natural pregnancy without complications. Natural delivery (between water breakage and delivery, less than 30 minutes.)

Ben, on the other hand...sigh... Difficult pregnancy, 6 weeks premature (at 8 lbs. 4 oz.) Breached birth, C section delivery, sepsis. Ben spent the first 10 days of life in the intensive care neonatal ward.

It's 20 plus years later. We've had good days, bad days, exuberant days, and days I could have easily put a FOR SALE sign on them. But then I remember when I was pregnant with them. I remember how I felt when I carried them, delivered them, and then loved them as I raised them.

I have a family, and my sons will be my legacy. I have been blessed.

Thank you, Dearest Lord, for allowing me to bring new life into this world, and for showing me the richness of motherhood.

Giving Thanks - For a Long Life

As of today, I'm 54 years old. My father died last year at the age of 79. My mother is in her 70s. My maternal grandmother lived until she was 83. So I still have a lot to look forward to.

Which brings me to post these Senior Moment jokes I found too good not to pass along. Please feel free to distribute.

Thank you, Lord, for the bounty of health you bestow upon me and my loved ones.

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LOST IN THE DARNDEST PLACES:
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car hasbeen broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to thedispatcher: 'They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brakepedaland even the accelerator!' she cried. The dispatcher said, 'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.' A few minutes later, the officer radios in. 'Disregard.' He says, 'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'
________________________________________________________________________ FAMILY :
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know - I'll come up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses, 'Was I going up the stairs or down?' The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea - listening to her sisters. She shakes her headand says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful - knock on wood.' She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you ... as soon as I see who's at thedoor.' ________________________________________________________________________ 'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.' And the third man chimed in, 'So am I- let's have a beer.'
_______________________________________________________________________ LITTLE LADY:
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say'Supersex.' She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.'
_______________________________________________________________________ OLD FRIENDS:
Now this one is just too Precious...LOL ! Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me .. I know we'vebeen friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.' Herfriend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'
_________________________________________
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!' 'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!'
_______________________________________________________________________ DRIVING
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, 'I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.' After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red, but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough,the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!' Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving ?'

A different view of the Thanksgiving dinner...

Are you ready for this? It's a CUPCAKE, people. Yep, you heard me. A cupcake, representing all the good things about your Thanksgiving dinner. Okay, I'm gonna gush and exclaim, "Isn't it cute?" because it is, dammit! Found here at YumSugar.