Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Friday, June 20, 2025
Sunday, November 13, 2022
Written by Kids
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10
9. No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry.
God decides it all the way before, and you get to find out later who you're
stuck with. --
Kristen, age 10
8. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET
MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person
FOREVER by then. --
Camille, age 10
7. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE
MARRIED?
You might have to guess based on whether they seem to be yelling at the
same kids. --
Derrick, age 8
6. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND
DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids. --
Lori, age 8
5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A
DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each
other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. -- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't
she a treasure?)
- On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets
them interested enough to go for a second date. -- Martin, age 10
4. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS
SOMEONE?
-When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7 (Love her)
-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with
that. -- Curt, age 7
-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them
and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. Howard, age 8
3. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE
OR MARRIED
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys
need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9
2. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE
DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favorite is.......
1. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE
WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like
a dump truck. --
Ricky, age 9
Friday, October 29, 2021
Thursday, July 8, 2021
Monday, August 28, 2017
Saturday, April 22, 2017
Friday, October 21, 2016
Friday, February 19, 2016
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Great Truths About Being a Parent
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCRs do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCRs do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
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