Showing posts with label famous quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label famous quotes. Show all posts
Saturday, April 18, 2015
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Friday, October 11, 2013
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Quotes of the Day
And to conclude with a fireworks display of humor:
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
And my personal favorite:
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me".
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
And my personal favorite:
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me".
Monday, June 29, 2009
Quote of the Day
What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Quote of the Day
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Quote of the Day
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Quote of the Day
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Quote of the Day
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Quote of the Day (a Twofer!)
Never have more children than you have car windows.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Quote of the Day
Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Quote of the Day
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Quote of the Day
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
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