Top Ten Things I Hate About Writing/Being a Writer

Actually, this isn't my list. It's a list from the blog Chiseled in Rock, and it's absolutely hilarious AND TRUE. Go follow them if you don't already.

Top Ten List - Actual Numbers or Teacher's Pet?

I was scrolling through my e-loops, and a comment caught my eye.  It was a question about publishers' Top Ten lists.  In short, a person was asking the question, "Is a top ten list actually based on the number of sales, or is it more of a teacher's pet list?"

Needless to say, the remark stung.  More so because I'm also a teacher, and the term is a slap in the face.

I don't know if it's just me, or if other people feel it, too, but it seems that authors who aren't selling are quick to condemn those who do.  I wanted to jump in and ask the person (also an author) if they're advertising.  Do they have a web presence?  What are they doing to promote their book? 

Finally, are they writing a story that will sell?  One of the best things about epubs is that they'll take a chance on authors who write a good story, but there may not be a huge market for it.

In the beginning, when I was just becoming published, my books weren't huge sellers.  But at no time did I look at the top ten list on my publisher's website and say that those authors were there because they had an "in" with the boss.  I looked at it and swore to myself that one day I'd get on the list.  And once that happened, my next goal was to hit the #1 slot.

I have a very good friend who has sat by and watched me build a successful writing career.  Now it's her turn to rise in the ranks and earn the nice paychecks, and I'm cheering her on.  Our success is not based on being friends with the publisher.  It comes because we work our tails off.  We finally found our "niche", and our readership is growing.

And to those authors who are quick to condemn us, or belittle our efforts, God bless you.

10 Terrific Tips for Testing Your Toes

(Originally posted last year on the Whiskey Creek Press Torrid blog. At the time I didn't have my own blog, and I liked what I'd written too much to lose it. So here they are again! If you missed it the first time, enjoy!)

WARNING: SLIGHTLY BAWDY!

1. Adjust the soft fur on your lover’s chest.
2. Lightly scratch his inner thighs with those pearly-pink toenails.
3. Give his own feet a little one-on-one attention.
4. Massage his scalp.
5. Use his wide back like a kitten uses her paws to search for milk.
6. See how far you can raise his hands above his head.
7. Butter his buttocks.
8. Can he kiss all ten little piggies?
9. Big toe, male nipple. ‘Nuff said.

And finally,

10. Prop It Up!!!!