You Can't Fix Stupid

 

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his  front yard and hung a Sign on it saying:  'Free to good home.  You want it, you take it.'  For three days the fridge sat there  without anyone looking twice. He eventually decided that people  were too mistrustful of this deal. So he changed the sign to read:  'Fridge for sale $50.'  The next day someone stole it.  -------------------------------------   One day I was walking down the beach with Some friends when someone shouted... 'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky  and said...'where?'  ----------------------------------------------------------  While looking at a house, my brother asked  the Real Estate agent which direction  was north because… He didn't want the  sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' My brother explained that the sun rises  in the east And has for sometime.  She shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff......' --------------------------------------------  A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding... Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result.. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace...  Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail  for driving without a seat belt.  ————————————-    My colleague and I were eating our lunch  in our cafeteria, when we overheard an  admin girl talking about the sunburn  she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but said she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'. ------------------------------------  My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk. ------------------------------------------------- I couldn't find my luggage at the  airport baggage area and went to the  lost luggage office and reported the loss. The woman there smiled and told me  not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands.  'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'... (I work with professionals like this.) ---------------------------------------------- While working at a pizza 🍕 parlor I observed  a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces;  I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces. *******************************