5 Signs That Tell You Your Hero/ine’s Name Needs Changing

1. You keep forgetting how to spell it correctly.
2. You don’t pronounce it the same way twice.
3. Your critique partner can’t figure it out.
4. Your editor asks if the character is from another planet.
5. Spellcheck keeps automatically correcting it for you.

An Author's Bill of Rights

1. Authors shall be treated with common courtesy by their publishers.
2. Authors shall be paid in a timely manner, or notified in a timely manner if payment will be delayed.
3. Authors shall be allowed to know their sales after the end of each quarter.
4. Authors shall be paid the Full Due of their royalties.
5. Authors shall be told the truth in all circumspects by their publishers.
6. Authors shall be given a contract for each body of work submitted and accepted by the publisher.
7. Authors shall be allowed feedback, or to make suggestions, regarding their final cover art.
8. Authors shall be allowed compromise during edits.
9. Authors shall have their works returned without prejudice when circumstances and contractual obligations warrant.
10. Authors using a pseudonym shall have their privacy protected.

My Greatest Wish as a Writer

I get asked all the time what I would like to accomplish as a writer.

"What’s your ultimate goal?"

I’m easy to please. I would like to sell books. I want people to like what I write, and want to read more. I know my publishers would be happy.

But personally? It goes much, much deeper than that.

I want to walk into an airport and find someone reading one of my books while waiting for their flight. A total stranger.
Or go into a store and see someone at the register purchasing one of my books. I know I would burst into tears if I ever witnessed it.

However, my ultimate dream is to be invited to a meeting with a bunch of readers who want to discuss my books. Like a book club. People who want to pick my brain about my characters and plots. People who get as excited about my works as I do.
Sounds dumb, I know. Farfetched. Some people I know would even call it ridiculous.

Still...

I have no one to talk to about my work. No one willing to listen to me discuss what I’m working on.

It would seem that writing is a very lonely profession.

Why a Ratings System?

stars
hearts
lips
cups
flutes
roses

Okay, maybe I'm just missing the obvious, but why do reviews have to have a rating system?

Yes, I know some review sites don't use the 1-5 scale, but most do. But what's funny is when a site gives you a GLOWING review for a book, then hits you with a "3".

Hey, remember when "C" was "average" in school? But if you went home with a C on your report card, your butt had a big target drawn on it.

Same thing with reviews. A 3 is considered okay. A good read. Worth the money spent on it. Yet tell another author you got a 3 on the book, and you get condolences from them.

The ones I can't fathom, though, are the reviews that saythings like "It has been years since I read a book that I enjoyed as much as this one..." then they slap you with a 3. Or a 3 and a half.

Huh???

Why can't a reviewer simply state how s/he feels about your book, and let it go at that?

Why do we have to have a ratings system anyway?

My Country Grandma's Dictionary

Yankee Dime

(N) a kiss, or an object without monetary value

Ex: If you go get me a Coke, I’ll give you a Yankee dime.

Happy Memorial Day

My father was in the Air Force.
Active duty during the Korean War.

I Can Has Cheezburger (dot) com

Go there now. Sign up for their daily newsletter. I promise you will get AT LEAST one good chuckle out of them every day.
And while you’re at it, check out their "sister" site, loldogs. :D
Here's a few reasons why.

I Can’t Write Short

Oh, man!

Got a review for one of my short stories. Their complaint? It was too short, and the remark wasn’t meant as a compliment. Okay, maybe I could have developed a whole novel, or at least something around the novella range, but I was under a strict word requirement.

I will be the first to admit I can’t write short. A lot of times when I’m working on a story, just as I get ready for the "payoff" (aka love scenes) I’m already 30,000 words or more along. And as for plot development? Character development? Forget it. Get in, get out, get ‘er done.

I’ve been told for years that authors need to stretch themselves. Every now and then, they need to venture out of their comfort range and try new genres, new anything. Being a novel writer, I tried to do short.

I can’t write short. :(

Hello. My name is Linda Mooney. And I'm a Frappaholic.

10 Things You Can Do While You’re Waiting on the Publisher To Accept Your Contract

10. Work on one of those 67 other incomplete works in progress.

9. Take that long-delayed vacation to Tahiti. Or Ireland. Or anyplace so remote that you can’t access your email.

8. Learn a new language. (Works well with # 9.)

7. How about a new hobby? I hear shoe collections are very rewarding.

6. Call and reassure your family, friends, and relatives you haven’t fallen off the face of the earth.

5. Get a pet. Preferably something that’s gentle and affectionate. Like a hedgehog.

4. Reinvent you. Hair, nails, stomach by-pass, liposuction, boob job, and laser eye surgery. That way when your book becomes a best-seller, and you go out on tours to promote it, no one will recognize you from the photo on the back cover.

3. Cultivate a green thumb. Plants are your friends. They’ll also clean the stuffiness out of your work cubicle.

2. Reward yourself for all your hard work! Writing a book isn’t easy. Jump the gun a little bit and pretend you’ve gotten the contract. Better yet, start going from door-to-door and take orders for when it’s released!

1. Pray they accept it.

What Have You Had To Cut Back On?

Ewwww!

Just got my gasoline bill. Last year at this time, our household (2 trucks and 2 cars) averaged $400 a month in gas usage. But like the rest of the nation, as gas prices climbed, so did our bill. Today it’s a whopping $880! That’s more than our house payment!

Frankly, folks, I’m starting to feel a bit scared. Yes, hubby and I are employed full time, but we’re having to tighten. Which means giving up the extras. More trips to Blockbuster and fewer excursions to the movie theaters. Making do with the fraying towels instead of buying new ones. More suppers of soup and sandwiches, salads, or cereal and other semi-breakfast foods like pancakes or scrambled eggs.

But I predict e-books will rally BIG time, and the down side will fall on paperbacks and hardbacks (mostly because of cost). People will still need their entertainment to help them through these tough times. It’s harder making ends meet; some months mine only manage to wave at each other. Some luxuries in life will become almost obsolete if there are no other alternatives.

Have you had to give up something, or re-adjust your lifestyle due to the enormous upswing in gas and food prices?

And The Moral of This Story Is...

If you haven't heard from your neighbor/co-worker/spouse in a while, you might want to go poke your nose in the door and check.

My First Review for SANDEFLAY!!!

Reviewed by Dee Dailey
The Romance Studio

http://www.theromancestudio.com/

Miranda Sayers’ wheelchair is taking her to certain pain and injury when the ramp on the handicapped van malfunctions. Collin First, who shares an apartment in the same building, comes to the rescue. To Miranda’s surprise he seems attracted to her. Their fledgling friendship is just starting when Randi comes face to face with Bud, an eight hundred pound animal like she’s never seen before. Imagine a huge puppy with fangs!

From this almost gentle beginning Linda Mooney powers up a story that I couldn’t put down. Turns out Collin is an Extinguisher from a parallel world. His job is to prevent any of the voracious animals that could literally eat up a city from coming through the Ducts that open up between the worlds. As she spins the story and the love develops between the two, or three, counting Bud, it just gets better and better.

Ms. Mooney doesn’t shy away from the issue of a relationship between a paraplegic and a handsome stud. Instead she lets the story grow with it.

I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know Sandeflay. It parallels our world but some things are so much more advanced just as some things seem primitive in an exotic kind of way. I’m thrilled that I couldn’t predict how this author would work things out. Just when I thought I’d guessed the path she would take she’d veer off on a side path that was much better than the simple storyline I’d envisioned.

This story is rich in characters, love, eroticism and beautiful fantasy. Linda Mooney has done an excellent job of penning a story that will be fun for anyone who likes to get lost in a great book.

Sensuality rating: Explicit
Reviewer: Dee Dailey

May 16, 2008

New Contract!

Take a Page from Rod Serling

Most young people don’t recognize the name Rod Serling, but they are usually aware of the effect he had on television and the horror/fantasy genre, namely his shows THE TWILIGHT ZONE and NIGHT GALLERY.

A fan once asked him where he the ideas for all his stories, since Rod contributed nearly 80% of all scripts. He answered he always carried a little spiral notebook with him, no matter where he was, and when he got a germ of an idea, he jotted it down. He even kept the notebook on his bedside table in case he woke up from a dream and wanted to remember it.

For me, having a notebook has been instrumental in helping me keep tabs of EVERYTHING pertinent to daily life and my stories. Long ago I used spiral notebooks before graduating to memo books. Now I buy nice hardback journals at the dollar store, and I jot everything down in them. And I do mean everything. (Hey, at my age, body parts start to fall off without warning. But the first thing to go is always the mind,right?)

To help me keep track of what’s where, pages containing details and notes about the novel I’m working on are marked with colored paperclips. Otherwise, a Post-It note stuck upside down so that a small "tab" sticks up from the top of the journal gives me a quick reference to other info like special dates, clothing sizes, phone numbers, etc. (Just mark the tab to remind you what’s there.)

For fun, I also tape stupid stuff like the fortunes from my Chinese take-out, the inserted cards on flower arrangements I received, and other odd items with sentimental value.

One day I’d like to think these journals might be worth something. (Yeah, I know, dream on! LOL!)

Sometimes You Just Have To Let Go

Does this happen to you, fellow author?

You write your story.
You edit your story.
You edit, edit, edit, edit, then send it to a critique partner, who finds more stuff to edit (like those pesky missing words.)
You put your story aside for a while, and concentrate on another story.
You go back to your first story, re-read, and re-edit.
You finally get up the nerve to submit the book.
Book is accepted, but now it’s time for the Editor to edit.
You are sent back your book for more edits (and by this time you’re totally sick of your story.)
Book comes back a final time for final line edits.
Book goes to press.
You get your finished copy... and, DADGUM! WHERE THE HELL DID THAT MISTAKE COME FROM? (misspelled word, missed word, wrong word – take your pick)

If you’re like me, you wish you could Go Back and Fix that mistake, but at some point you just have to let it go.

And pray a reviewer doesn’t catch it and mention it. (wink!)

NOW AVAILABLE! Journal by Gail Smith (Linda Mooney w/a)

JUST RELEASED!

JOURNAL

by Gail Smith
(Linda Mooney w/a)

The hand-written account of one woman's struggle to survive in a world gone dead.

This novel is pure horror, which is why I'm using a pseudonym.

If you like ZOMBIES, you will love Journal!

Now Available from Tease Tarot Publishing!

Get your copy at

http://allromanceebooks.com/product-journalthejudgementcard-8814-140.html

For more information, excerpts, and book trailer, go to

http://www.lindamooney.com/myhorror.htm

Hey, Sarah! You and I Are In Good Company!

Dr. Sarah Drumman-Morr
Sciences Dept.
Templeton Branch
Northeastern State University



Dear Sarah,

I was sent this article yesterday, and am forwarding the URL to you. It appears that Pope Benedict believes in aliens from outer space! That’s right! Vatican City has sent out word that the Pope says it’s not against doctrine to believe in extraterrestrial life.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24598508/

Let Simon know, would you? And have him pass this along. I’m sure he and Jeb and the others will get a kick out of it.

See you in space!

Linda

Join Us! AuthorFest 2008 - Chicago, June 14th

AuthorFest 2008 - Chicago (Schaumburg Twp. District Library in Schaumburg, IL) , June 14th

The deadline to participate in panel discussions and sell your books for Gotta Write Authorfest 2008 is Friday, May 16. The event is held at the Schaumburg Twp. District Library in Schaumburg, IL. Thirty-three romance and mystery authors have signed on creating smaller panels for a higher level of participation. Email Netera@aol.com if you'd like to be included. Go to gottawritenetwork.com and fill out the participation form ASAP. Thank you. Beginning writers, PR reps, editors, publishers are welcome to attend. This is a free event.

Denise Fleischer

What Kind of Prize Will Make You Enter a Contest?

Okey-doke. Saturday I asked what kind of contest given by an author (whose books you enjoyed) would you enter to win a prize. Today, I want to know What Kind Of Prize would make you enter that contest?
In the past, I’ve offered, and have seen offered, the following:

* an e-book of their choice
* a copy of the newest release
* a paperback copy (if one’s available)
* a gift card to a known establishment (ie. Starbucks, Bath & Body Works, Barnes & Nobel, etc.)
* a gift basket of "assorted toiletries"/spa works, etc.

Will one kind of prize draw you in? Which ones won’t? Or does it matter?

I’d love your honest opinion!

Happy Mothers Day!

What Kind of Contest Will You Enter?

You’re on an email loop, and you read where a particular author you like is having a contest. Let’s pretend for the moment that the "prize" is something you want. But how far will you go to enter to try and win it?

What kind of contests are you willing to enter? What kind makes you shy away?

For example, here’s a list of varying kinds of contests I’ve seen run, or have run myself. What’s your opinion of them? WHICH WOULD YOU PREFER?

* Scavenger Hunts – where the readers search all over a website for a particular picture
* Fill In the Blanks – requiring some research
* Quizzes – where the readers are given a question to answer after reading a particular excerpt
* Come to a chat and possibly win at random
* Being the ?#? new member to join an author’s loop
* Sending in proof of purchase for another one of the author’s books

Here’s where you, reader AND author, get to drop off your two cents (hey, authors are readers, too!)

I Have a New Podcast Up! Runner's Moon: Jebaral

Check 0ut my new "5 Minutes with Mooney" podcast!

This time, Monica and I talk about Runner's Moon: Jebaral.

http://www.lindamooney.com/podcasts.htm

What’s Your Everyday Luxury?

A magazine I subscribe to just published this little poll.
"Every woman has her little daily indulgence. See some of our readers’ favorite everyday luxuries below. Did your make the list?"

A relaxing shower, bath, or facial - 9%
Indulgent bath and body care products - 33%
Scented products (perfume, candles, incense) - 40%
A good book, tea, coffee, or chocolate - 5%
Luxury? What’s that? - 13%
*********
Now, I don’t know about everyone else, but I don’t consider my burning candles a luxury. It’s a necessity, considering I live with 2 grown men and a dog.
Ditto for the perfume. I teach Kindergarten (‘nuff said?)
As for bath and body care products, that’s also a necessity. Bar soap tends to melt at an alarming rate in my bathroom.
A relaxing shower? Yeah, right. Bath? Don’t make me laugh (watching me try to get up out of the tub is such a hilarious event, hubby has threatened to sell tickets to it!)
Facials? DAILY?
A good book? Again, a necessity, just so I can relax enough to fall asleep at night.
But I will admit I have my weaknesses. Snapple Red Teas and Starbuck’s Mocha Frappiccinnos, mostly.
I keep promising myself that if I ever win the lottery, I’m going to have someone come to my house every day and give me a foot massage. Hey, I can dream!

SIMOLIF is a Joyfully Reviewed Recommended Read!!!!

Simolif has been chosen as one of May's Joyfully Reviewed's Recommended Reads.
Reviewed by Tanya

Simolif, his brother Jebaral, and their adopted sister Tiron, along with twenty-eight other members of the Runinos species, escaped to Earth seven years ago. They escaped the Arra species who were holding them hostage, and now are living a cautious life on earth. As they are shape shifters who only have to return to their true form at night, they are able to work regular jobs during the day, though they are stronger than most. The life that Simolif has chosen on Earth is as a contractor.

While originally they all thought they were going to remain alone for their lives, not being in captivity was enough, they have since found that there is a possibility they will find a life mate among the humans. In fact, Jabaral and Tiron have both accomplished this. So Simon now has hope. That hope increases with the knowledge that his mate is near when he takes the construction job next to the planetarium of a local college. You see, not only is shy Professor Sarah Drumman an astronomer, she is also his life mate.

When Simolif saves Sarah from a brutal attack on campus, they become instant friends and eventually lovers. But will Sarah ever be able to accept Simolif in his “true form,” which will be needed for the couple to become life mates? Additionally, will Sarah’s tenure presentation potentially endanger all of their lives on Earth?

Readers should be aware that there are erotic and sexual scenes that do take place between the main characters when one is in a non-human form.

Fantastic Sci-Fi story is the first thing that comes to mind when I tell people about Simolif. It is a stand-alone story, but is the third in a series that I hope continues on for a long time. I loved how the author linked science together with the aliens that are on Earth. Ms. Mooney has created one of the most interesting alien groups that I have seen in a long time. Her writing pulled me in and the scenes that she created all seemed plausible to me. I highly recommend this story for those who like Sci-Fi Romances. It is also why I have Joyfully Recommended Simolif.

SIMOLIF is now on Fictionwise, and at 15% off!

Runner's Moon: Simolif is now available on Fictionwise at 15% off!

http://www.fictionwise.com/eBooks/eBook67192.htm?cache

ACK! It's Monday! Goodbye!

It's been one of those day where nothing I do is right. Makes me wish I could just go straight to Tuesday.

* A co-worker is no longer speaking to me. (I don't know why.)

* I uploaded the wrong webpages at school.

* My edits were unreadable for my editor.

* My submitted MS to another publisher was not formatted properly.

* Re-did the edit, re-formatted MS -- then found out somehow the documents still ended up screwed up, and I have no idea how to fix them.

* I missed a deadline at work.

* Boss called me into his office (never a good sign.)

* I was 15 cents short for lunch.

* A mama chewed me out (not my fault, but...)

* I fell onto the concrete entryway at school, onto both bad knees.

* Hubby blames me for putting his bowling shirt in the dryer (guilty), and shrinking it.

I'm posting this at 5:07 p.m. The day's not over.

Unfortunately. :(

JOURNAL is Now Available for Pre-Order at ARe!

JOURNAL

by Gail Smith
(Linda Mooney w/a)

is Now Available for Pre-Order at All Romance e-books!

Click HERE to read an excerpt, and to get your copy when it's released on May 15th!

This novella is the hand-written account of one woman's struggle to survive in a world gone dead. If you like zombies, this is the book for you!

Naked Blogging (or Sometimes Close To It!)

On one of my multitudinous email loops I saw this heading. I didn’t read the post, but the title was intriguing. It made me remember all the times I’ve sat in front of my computer with my jammies (or very little) on while I busily typed away at something.

So I’m wondering—am I the only person who’ll strip down to near nothing before getting to work? Of course, there’s just my hubby and I, and son # 2 who’s 21 and rarely at home. But I tend to favor huge, sloppy, well-worn t-shirts that have been washed so many times, they’re aged to silky softness. That, and a pair of panties. And that’s all. I’m comfy, air-conditioned (very important when you're having hot flashes!), and at least modest enough to pass immediate inspection.

Hubby thing is he has to be barefoot. I can’t count the number of times I’ve nearly tripped over those surfboards he calls sneakers that he leaves scattered about in whatever room he chucked them. Still-tied Nikes and smelly socks...our marriage has often been sorely tested.

Do you have a particular "uniform" you wear when you hit the computer? Or does it matter to you?

SHARE IF YOU DARE! :D

I Have Some Questions...

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?
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Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread tobegin with?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*
If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren'tpeople from Holland called Holes?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If it's true that we are here to help others, then whatexactly are the others here for?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and drycleaners depressed?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP? ?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?
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Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Why does cottage cheese have an expiration date? Isn't it just soured milk anyway?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Regarding income taxes, did you ever notice -- when you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together, it spells 'THEIRS'?

SIMOLIF is a BEST SELLER! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!

Many MANY thanks to everyone who bought Runner's Moon: Simolif last month! It is now a Whiskey Creek Press Best Seller! Whooohooo!