From My Kindergarten Dictionary

enchi-la-las

Frustration, Thy Name is Deadline

There are few things more frustrating than to have a deadline, and you can’t write because your day job leaves you totally brain fried at the end of the day.

Hope this dilemma ends soon.

It’s Been Years

I haven’t felt this excited about a new television show since the original CSI: Las Vegas premiered.

I don’t watch television.  I watch Ghost Hunters when it’s a new episode.  Same for Ghost Adventurers.  Otherwise the TV is pretty much background noise for me.

But now my sci-fi bug has bitten hard with NO ORDINARY FAMILY.  And my inner zombie is crying out for THE WALKING DEAD.

It’s going to be a great season!

Guest Author Brynna Curry WILL Be On Tonight!

Barring hell or high water, I WILL be hosting Brynna Curry tonight on Other Worlds of Romance on Blog Talk Radio!

Show begins at 11 pm et/10 pm central

Don't miss it!

Organizational Skills - I Don't Haz It

See the guy on the right?  That's me.  That's my organizational skills level.  I'm VERY spatial.  (Guess that makes me "spacey"?  Yeah, bad pun, but it also explains why I write "spacey" romances, har har!)

Anyway, I'm needing to get my desk and office more organized.  Wishful thinking.  I started cleaning out hubby's and my closets this summer, sending bags and bags of stuff we can no longer wear but wish we could to Goodwill.  It's still on-going, but instead of diving head-first and spending a whole day or weekend doing it, I'm doing it a bit at a time.   I use the credo 5.  I take 5 items out of the closet.  That's 5 items I'm donating, and putting the article of clothing (or shoes or belt, etc.) back into the closet doesn't count.

For my office, I'm going by the credo 1.  Take 1 item and take care of it, whether it's filing, throwing away, or packing it away.  1 per day.  It takes all of maybe 3 minutes.  Like the closet, which takes me all of maybe 5 minutes.

It's a lot like my writing.  Once I get 1000 words down that I can live with, my goal for the day has been met, and the rest is gravy.

You'd be surprised where a baby step a day will take you.



Front Page or DreamWeaver?

I wrote websites using the old HTML for years before I got Microsoft Front Page.  I'm still using Front Page, but now I've heard about DreamWeaver.

If someone out there has had experience using both, please contact me at Linda@LindaMooney.com and give me your opinion and advice.

Thanks!

It's Officially Autumn

I'm ready for fall.  I'm tired of this 90+ degree heat every day.  I want cooler weather.  Unfortunately, in south Texas, we don't really see trees changing color until nearly December. 

Makes me wish I could go back up to Maine or Vermont where the rainbow of leaves is now occurring. 

Bet it's gorgeous.

Derp?

DERP?

Does it stand for something, like an acronym?

I'm sooo out of the loop when it comes to the "latest" vocabulary!

I'm Back Up and Running!

I am accessing my blog after a harrowing 72 hours WITHOUT A COMPUTER.  It seems when MicroSoft sent its last update to my old computer, something went blooey.  Or schwing.  Or crapola.  Anyway, by Monday night, when the rains started to fall, everything else went to hell in a handbasket when the cable went out.  Therefore I had no internet, and hubby had no Monday night football game.  We were both equally loud venting our frustration.  Worse, I couldn't host my Blog Talk Radio program, dammit.  Sorry, Brynna! 

(Psst!  I've rescheduled her for this coming Monday!)

Anyway, ye olde Dell wouldn't reboot.  It wouldn't stop "updating".  It wouldn't do Jack Schitt.  Therefore I bit the bullet and bought a new computer.

Hey, but the GOOD news is that last Christmas hubby bought me a backup Seagate hard drive, and that's what I had been keeping all my files on.  But I must admit, it's been a pain getting all of my favorite blogs and all uploaded again.  And I lost everything I'd saved in email, darn!

Long story short, let's hope this baby gives me 5 productive and stress-free years like my old computer did.  That's all I can hope for...and afford!

Paraprosdokian Sentences, Part 2

Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.


Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Ø There's a fine line between cuddling, and holding someone down so they can't get away.

Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

Ø I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit, the target.

Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Ø If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Guest Author Brynna Curry Performs Magic Tonight on Blog Talk Radio

After one of his cases turns out not to his liking, Special Agent Gabriel Spiller is taking some much needed time away from work, reevaluating his position with the FBI. All of the death threats he’s received since the “not guilty” verdict haven’t helped much, either. He lost his partner, Serena Roarke while searching for some missing diamonds and now her sister, Leannan has found him.

Leannan O’Neal hears her dead sister, Serena, tell her that if she was ever in trouble, find Gabriel to protect her. Leannan is a school teacher in a small town, with a boring life, but finds herself on the run and knows that she must trust her sister, in order to survive the villain’s threats. Lea ends up helping Gabe in a shootout but killing someone affects her in a negative way. It’s not something she normally does, and having to do it is not sitting well with her.

****

Paranormal romance author and reviewer, Brynna Curry is a life long believer in the importance of reading. She enjoys the writing process and helping others hone their craft whether by reviewing published novels, critiquing raw manuscripts or serving as a contest judge. When she isn't writing Brynna enjoys spending time with her children at the park and local library. She makes her home in the Deep South with her husband, son, two daughters, and their redbone hound Diablo.


http://brynnacurrybriannaroarkebooks.webs.com/

Paraprosdokian Sentences, Part 1

Ø I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Due Voci

I came across this by accident.  I love the music of Josh Groban and Il Divo.  So one day while I was listening to Pandora, they played a song by this duo, and immediately I fell in love with the perfectly blended voices and lush orchestral accompaniment.

Due Voci (Due-eh Voh-chee) is Italian for "two voices".  But what makes this album unique is that the idea for the duo was conceived by songwriter extraordinaire Diane Warren.  Thus ALL the songs they sing and feature on their debut album are by her.

Some of the pieces you'll identify with: "Unbreak My Heart", "How Do I Live", "Because You Loved Me", and "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing".  But there are other songs that are new like "Break", "Would I Know", and "Time Stand Still".

If you love to listen to beautiful, romantic songs backed with richly scored overtones, this would make a superb addition to your music library.

Drown the Suckers

We've been inundated with rain these past twelve days.  Sometimes it comes down like a gully washer (or as my daddy used to say, like a frog strangler).  And other days like today it's just been a constant slow rain.  Of course, a lot of that credit goes to those tropical depressions and hurricanes that are sweeping past us, or below us, or nearby.  (That's fine with us.  We'll take the rain over a direct hit any day.)

Just when it starts to abate, the mosquitoes appear.  It takes the city about two days to spray, and by that time it starts to rain again pretty heavily.

Here's my advice to the city health department.  Forget spraying. At the rate the weather's going, those suckers will eventually drown.

I'm So Thrilled!

I have been asked to speak at the Writers Club at one of our local colleges in October.  According to the associate professor who emailed me, one of her students had one of my books, and brought it to her attention.

I'm very honored to be asked.  I've never been invited to speak before.  I hope I don't flub up too badly.  But if I do, I'm pretty sure I can blame "old age".   LOL!

New! RHEA 41070

Now Available!

RHEA 41070
Erotic Sci-Fi Romance Novel
from Whiskey Creek Press Torrid
(ebook) ISBN# 978-1-60313-838-3
(print) ISBN# 978-1-60313-947-2
Word Count: 64.1K

Bock Gammon was a freedom runner. A man with a space ship for hire. He had heard of Replacements and knew they existed, but he had never personally come across one. In fact, he found the whole idea repugnant--growing a living being specifically for the purpose of harvesting his body parts. So did the governments in many of the galaxies who declared Replacements illegal.

Which was why he was stunned to discover his latest assignment was to bring a Replacement to one of the wealthiest men in the Chatta Dul system. If he hadn't so desperately needed the money, he wouldn't have accepted the job.

It didn't take long for Bock to realize that Rhea 41070 wasn't just one-of-a-kind, she was also unlike any woman he had ever met. And the closer they got to the point of delivery, the more he knew he couldn't just walk away and leave her behind to be dissected. He had to somehow find a way to save her, despite the odds and hundreds of well-armed men awaiting their return.

Warning! Contains mutilation, idol worship, twisted old men, blackmail, apathy for human life, black market medicine, a shootout, a taste of the good life, and more gold than you can shake a stick at.

The Economy is So Bad That...

The economy is so bad that:

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

CEOs are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

My ATM gave me an IOU!

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

They renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street ."

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

It's a New Release and Giveaway Tonight on Blog Talk Radio!

Tonight on Other Worlds of Romance on Blog Talk Radio, I will be reading an excerpt from my new release, RHEA 41070, an erotic sci-fi romance novel due out Sept. 15th from Whiskey Creek Press Torrid.  And at the end of the show, I will be giving away a copy to one lucky listener.  So don't miss it!  The show begins at 11 pm et.

See you there!

9/11 Bud Commerical, Aired Only Once

Please watch this Budweiser commercial that aired only once right after the 9/11 disaster.

I dare you not to cry.

Irritants

Little things that irritate:

People who don't wait their turn at a 4-way stop.

People who throw their trash in your yard.

People who come up to you to talk, then put you on hold while they answer their phone...and expect you to wait.

People who promise to be somewhere at a certain time, then never show, never call to let you know they won't be showing, and then never apologize for not showing or letting you know they wouldn't make it.

People who get mad at you because you expect them to do their jobs.

People who believe they are an exception to all rules, or get to break the rules, because they're "special".

(End rant.)

From My Kindergarten Dictionary

Dope

"My dope hurts when I fwalloh cuz I was sleepin' wif my mouf open and all my air comed out."

It's a Release Party at TRS Today!

As soon as I get home from teaching I'll be joining a whole slew of authors over at The Romance Studio.  The New Release party starts at 1:00 pm et and goes until 8:00 pm.  I'll be there promoting my Sept. 15th release RHEA 41070, from Whiskey Creek Press Torrid.

Don't miss it! There will be prizes for readers and authors galore!

Never Believe Your Horoscope, and...

never trust the fortune in your fortune cookie.

Eppies

LORD OF THUNDER has been entered in the Eppies.

You know what they always say.  "Twelfth time's charm!"  :D

M. A. Ellis is my Guest Author Tonight on Other Worlds of Romance

Tonight on Other Worlds of Romance on Blog Talk Radio, I will be hosting guest author M.A. Ellis.  She will be reading from her recently released romance novel "Filigree and Fantasy".

Show time is 11 pm et.  Don't miss it!
* * *
Whitney is ecstatic over her internship to Macedonia and the opportunity to hone her craft at the hands of a filigree master. She doesn’t know that the old man has an ulterior motive. He plans to use her talent to save the dwindling numbers of his family’s canine shapeshifters, the Sharplanjat.


Jovan isn’t a shifter, but his sense of duty rivals that of the Sharplanjat—until his unbridled attraction to the woman who might very well hold his family’s future in her hands forces him to throw caution aside. To hold her. Taste her. Drive her to the brink of exquisite passion and beyond.

Mesmerized by sexy, violet-eyed Jovan, Whitney is ready for a quick, steamy affair. But Jovan has more than a few days of scorchingly wild sex in mind. He just doesn’t know what Whitney will do when she learns his family secret. Will she run screaming in fear or embrace the fantasy that can be found in his protective arms?

Happy Labor Day!

Happiness Is...

Being able to work all day on a story without anyone interrupting you, except to tell you to come eat because the hubby has fixed dinner.

Going Out on a Limb

I'm leaving the safety and comfort of my current publishers, and seeing if I can't get a book accepted elsewhere.

My reason behind this isn't because I'm unhappy with my pubs.  Quite the opposite.  But I'm hoping that by getting a book published by another press, it will lead to a whole new collection of readers, who will in turn discover my backlist. 

It's really a win-win situation if I get a contract.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me!

From My Kindergarten Dictionary

hannatizer

Check Out My Contest at Coffee Time Romance!

Click here to find out how you can win a copy
of my newest release, RHEA 41070,
due out September 15th!

Copper Wire (A Joke)

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion, that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story in the LA Times read: "California archaeologists, finding of 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers."

One week later. A local newspaper in Texas reported the following:  "After digging as deep as 30 feet, in Maypearl, Texas, Bubba, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Texas had already gone wireless".

Just makes a person proud to be a Texan or to live in Texas, don't it?

(Thanks, Therese!)